Hindsight is 2020 (or the gifts we may have received)
What can be said about this past year that hasn’t already been said? 2020 started out with so much promise and fanfare and then morphed into one of the most collectively stressful and disquieting years in recent history.
At this point the general consensus is that we’re all happy to see the back of this year and say hello to 2021, albeit with cautious optimism.
However, like all years, 2020 was not without its gifts.
I started thinking about that and made a little list that I thought I’d share with you, in the hopes that it could be a catalyst in helping you end the year with some gratitude and a smile.
In no particular order, here are some things that I learned or remembered in 2020:
I’m DONE with underwire bras. I like a little support as much as the next gal, but the desire to be comfortable (and still supported) far outweighs the whole “lift and separate” thing. Seriously, how many times have you come home after work or a long day and the first thing to come off after your shoes is your bra? Granted we were pretty much only home this year but still, you know what I’m talking about. If you want to jump on the wire-free train with me, check out Knix and Shapermint for some cute options.
I’m grateful that my kids are grown. In 2020, one of the flip sides of empty nest syndrome was the fact that I didn’t have to be in charge of homeschooling young children. My heart goes out to each and every mom and dad who has had to scramble and cope with parenting in a bubble. In my earlier days of being a mom there were times that I barely made it through and I had every resource available to me. Parents are the heroes of 2020 (along with teachers and front line workers of course!). Bonus: My 20 year-old daughter was home with us for a big chunk of time and I recognize that as a gift as well. Soon she’ll be fully off and running, so those weeks turned out to be a (mostly) delightful 2020 consolation prize.
Community is valuable in all its forms. Whether it’s via Zoom, texting, social distancing or reading my local newspaper every darned day, the last 9 months have highlighted how much I depend on my community to get me through dark times. Zoom does not surpass the ability to meet in real life but thank goodness it was an option. I love my people and I’ll take connection with them any way I can get it! The text threads with my “pod” were epic and the times we were able to get together in real life (6 feet apart) were literally sanity savers. Which leads me to…
Having something to look forward to is imperative. Whether it was those socially distanced gatherings in a friend’s back yard, local strawberries or new episodes of The Crown, having something to get excited about, no matter how small, helped me get through the day when I was feeling overwhelmed or just plain numb. This may seem like common sense but the pandemic brought it home in a new way. Going forward, I’ll be searching out those things that fill me with happy anticipation and writing them in my calendar so I can feel a dopamine hit every time I see them there.
I can do hard things - but much more importantly 2020 drove home the reality that my hard is not nearly as hard as that of so many others, especially the BIPOC community. I have a long way to go but I’m slowly learning what it means to be an ally. I’m trying to show up in new ways and help where and when I can. When the danger of this pandemic has passed, I don’t want to go back to “normal.” This country is in the beginning of a transformation that will likely continue to shake sh*t up for decades to come and I want to be part of the solution, not the problem.
I needed to slow the F down. Like so many people I spoke to, the lockdown this spring was a reality check and a visceral reminder that being constantly “busy” on a regular basis is ridiculous and unnecessary. During quarantine I started sleeping better that I had in years - probably because I had so few “shoulds” ricochetting around my brain. Ultimately the only thing that was required of me was to stay home. It was kind of a relief.
I have way too much stuff. I don’t need half the clothes in my closet. I have crap in drawers and cabinets and in my basement that hasn’t been touched by human hands in years. I’m ready to make some of it go away. Hopefully it wont’t take my husband another pandemic to get on that same page.
My living room doubles nicely as a workout studio when necessary. According to Barre3 online, I’ve done over 90 classes at home since April. I’ve also done countless sessions of Dance Church, at least a dozen yoga classes and loads of my own solo dance parties when I just needed to move my body and get my ya-yas out. I miss the energy and community of in-person group classes and someday I’ll join them again but until it is safe and clear to do so, I can be found happily sweating it out in my living room.
Where my attention goes, my energy flows. The last 9 months have been an excellent reminder that I get to decide where I put my attention. It’s a choice. Checking my email, social media and the news headlines before I even get out of bed in the morning can set me up to feel crappy. Sometimes I roll the dice and do it anyways but the times when I don’t are always a sure bet.
I’m getting better at listening to my body instead of letting my mind boss me around. When I include her in the conversation it’s always a win/win. As I learned in Life Coach training, your mind will tell you all kinds of stories but your body will never lie to you. Sounds simple - and it is - but it’s not always easy! This was especially useful in 2020 because my mind was busy, busy, busy creating a million “what if” scenarios. When I remembered to breathe and check in with my body, everything was better in that moment.
Never take anything for granted because life can change in a nanosecond. As I continue to age (audaciously!), this particular gift will likely always be on the list, but 2020 really helped highlight it. We spend so much time in the past and future of our mind’s eye that sometimes we forget to truly appreciate who and what we have in our lives. Look around you. Take it all in. Say “thank you” and “I love you” to the people who matter and take stock of all that you have instead of focusing on what you think you need. Do things that spark joy or feel meaningful, take care of your beautiful body and try and move it every day, go outside, snuggle with your pets, read good books, take deep breaths, seek out humor and laugh as much as possible, and really live your “one wild and precious life.” We don’t know what’s going to happen as we head into the upcoming year but here’s to being grateful for whatever gifts we may have received in the last 12 months.
Happy New Year, and I love you!
xo
Lisa
