When I dropped my son off at his college I initially thought I was fine. Then I ended up quietly cried on and off all the way home. It wasn’t just that my baby was leaving home or that he would be leaving an empty chair at the kitchen table or that I wouldn’t be able to hear his big laugh or trip over his big shoes on a daily basis. It was that this signified the end of a chapter in my life and I didn’t really know how the next chapter would unfold. 

Somewhere in the process of becoming "Mommy" I lost something fundamental: I lost contact with my Essential Self. I would catch glimpses of her from time to time but she was like a shadow, getting bigger when the light was right, taunting me with her elusive and mercurial appearance.